As described yesterday, we are standing at Tashkuh, the mountain of fire. And receive one invitation after another. Everywhere we go in Iran, we are told that the people in this region, in western Iran, are much more hospitable and generally friendlier. We are already overwhelmed, is there more? We can hardly believe it.
Here we meet a young man flying his drone over the Fire Mountain. We strike up a conversation and it "clicks" immediately. He is Iranian, but has lived in Finland for years. His English is excellent, but we prefer not to ask about Finnish, which is a closed book for us.
You get what you have to get (in our experience): an invitation. You are welcome to stay with us, shower and eat. I laugh. We say no at first. Then the invitation is repeated. I smile mildly and ask: "Is that Taroof?" He laughs, shakes his head and says: "No, no Taroof, I really mean it." (We have described Taroof here)
Gerd and I look at each other, by now we don't want to sleep on the mountain either, the fumes stink to high heaven and we wouldn't see the romance here with the windows closed anyway and we nod to each other. Okay, let's go.
Half an hour later, we park in a quiet lane and are greeted by sisters, mums, uncles, cousins and babies. And the food is served, er, served. Tea here, saffron tea there, dates, sweets. Mini pastries like cream puffs or spritz cakes. We nibble here and there, and I secretly say to Gerd that there will definitely be a "real" dinner. So we try to hold back. And: I'm right: the barbecue is fired up, the family inexplicably grows once again and when the "table foil" is rolled out, the living room is full and the table would bend if it had legs.
What fascinates us here time and time again is the serenity with which people chop, cook, roast and eat together. It doesn't matter whether there is room for everyone. People simply make room. There's always a cushion for the backrest somewhere. Plates, all the same? It doesn't matter. Cutlery? Spoons and forks (I've only seen knives for fruit) come from all kinds of collections. Napkins? A box of Tempos is enough. Everyone talks, everyone listens. All mixed up. And above all: all together. The television is never on during dinner. The phone rarely rings.
We are questioned and everything is translated for the family members who don't speak English. After the meal (they don't want us to help clear up or clear out), I knit a bit, the ladies in particular are amazed. Then we are allowed to cuddle the baby. This is also somehow very different to us: babies are always in the middle of things. They probably have to get used to the Iranian decibels right from the start. I can't imagine an Iranian family being highly sensitive or sensitive to noise like I am. It's just cool that the baby is passed from lap to lap. That's how the extended family model is passed on from the very beginning. They say you need a village to raise a child. Here in Iran, a single family is enough.
We ask again: who is related to whom, who is mum, cousin, uncle and so on. People are really willing to explain everything to us. But we just don't understand. Or rather: half an hour later, we can hardly remember anything.
The family reports 8 to 14 children per couple (in the older generations, the younger ones have fewer children, we notice). Each brother, each sister another 8 to 14 children. While my fingers are no longer enough and they laugh at my attempts to do the maths, they say quite unanimously: we are about 500, according to the closest family circle. And the week after next we have a wedding with 2,000 people coming. We'll be exhausted. Then you can't even exchange a few words with every guest, I interject. Or even know everyone's name. They laugh, look at each other and agree that they don't understand my objections. What's the problem?
Yes, what's the problem?
My goodness, we, with our 32 guests at our wedding a few years ago, have really strange demands: talking to everyone, wanting to have a bit of time for everyone. But that's the way it is.
Go travelling and you'll see that there are so many different ways of life. So many approaches and so many different ways of getting married. Go travelling and you'll see that we are not the hub of the world, not the measure of all things!
Whereas an hour or two ago we wanted to be alone in our camper on Fire Mountain, tonight we are enjoying the plot twist of the day!
Photos? We forgot to take them. Very simple!
Merci for "travelling with us
We are thinking about taking another break from travelling in the summer and visiting our families in Germany and Switzerland. One of the ideas is to organise a Lecture about our long journey to the Persian Gulf to prepare. If you would like to, what would interest you the most? We will also tell stories here that don't find a place here on the blog. We're thinking of the Bern and Berlin area - simply because we have family there. But other places are also conceivable. Feel free to write to us.
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That's marvellous. 🥰
I have often noticed this when travelling:
Cohesion in the family. 👍
Share what you have.
With all of them.
Try it here with us. 😂🤣
Well, just enjoy it.
But that's what you do. 👍
What would be interesting for me:
Courtesy and respect
What are the rules?
Are there any at all?
It's always daft when you get into unfamiliar territory, how do you do it so that you don't do anything wrong?
As a "stranger", you ALWAYS do EVERYTHING wrong here. 😁
Best wishes from cold Bavaria with snow.......
s'Racheli
I think that many families in Central Europe also live together. Different, but also. Especially when something happens, it's normal to help each other. Everyday life is much more individualised, but that's always your own decision.
Politeness is similar to us: sometimes the door is held open for you, sometimes not. Sometimes you wait until everyone is sitting at the table (carpet), sometimes not. Sometimes you just walk into our van, sometimes you ask politely. In Switzerland and Germany, we're not used to people entering directly.
Rules for other countries?
I believe that good manners and a good dose of mindfulness are very good advice. It's better to be more polite than normal than not polite enough.
Asking what this and that means is also a kind of international understanding. Asking what is right for them. Take nothing for granted. Always be mindful. But also pointing out boundaries such as "I'm really full" or covering the glass with a spoon. Sometimes I also say what placing cutlery next to each other means in Germany: I'm full so the waiter can clear up. They think it's funny, but remember it immediately and keep looking at our cutlery.
And I think you can also do everything wrong or everything right in Germany: it doesn't depend on the foreigner but on the local: he or she is allowed to realise that the foreigner brings a different culture with them. And then don't immediately judge negatively, but ask politely if you can explain: "We always wait until everyone at the table has filled their plates, only then do we start eating." or "In our country, it is customary to help clear up after the meal." or quite funny, often done in Iran: "In Switzerland, women and men have equal rights, we discuss everything, but the woman never has to ask permission."
International understanding can only be achieved through such stories and assistance, never by reproaching or ridiculing.
Phew, that was long, sorry.
All good.
Thank you for taking the time.
I asked and got a nice and detailed answer.
👍🙏😘
Très belle rencontre . Que les Iraniens sont cool !
Yes, they are. La plupart du temps en tout cas. 😉